Saturday, July 29, 2006

Maybe....

How do you handle emotions? What do you do when you feel depressed? You may feel as if there is no goal in your life. You feel lost. You dont know what to do. And to top it up, you are not absolutely sure about the reason for all these emotions/feelings. You try to find a reason.

Maybe your friend did something wrong. No, but he/she was right in her own way. What he/she did is in no way wrong for him/her. But then, why are you upset about what he/she did? Maybe there are issues at your college or work place. Your professor never takes you seriously. No matter what you write, he would not give you good marks. Whereas, his favourite student gets all the good marks and all the praise. Or maybe, your boss had a problem at his place and decided to bring it all out on you. Or maybe you are not getting the responsibilities you deserve. Or maybe you are underpaid and on searching you are not getting a job that you would like. Or maybe, your collegues just dont get along with you. Or maybe you had a fight with your collegue over some small issue in the project. Or maybe your girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband cares for someone more than he/she cares for you. Maybe you are right. Maybe you are wrong. You are not sure.

What do you do in such a situation? You feel lonely. You feel lost. You may want to end up your life. How? Take loads of sleeping pills. Or maybe hang yourself from the cealing. Or maybe just jump off the tallest building in your city. But then again, there is no reason for doing so. There is no reason to kill yourself. Why should you kill yourself when you have not achieved what you were meant to achieve in life. But then again what are you supposed to achieve? You are not sure of anything. Well or maybe you are afraid of death. Buy why?? After all some day you are going to die. Is there a reason to live? Why are you alive? What is the purpose of your life?

Maybe you would sit in a corner and cry. And you try to hide yourself from the world. Maybe your friend comes to console you. And maybe you cry on his/her shoulder or maybe you just shoo him away. You expect someone to take care of you. But when someone comes and asks you what is wrong, you dont know how to explain. Maybe you can trust the person or maybe you cant. Maybe the person will understand you or maybe not. You are not sure. You are alone. You are lonely. You struggle with yourself trying to decide what to do. What is right and what is wrong.

And then maybe the next day, you wake up and you feel lucky. Or maybe, you get a call from someone you really care about. Or something unexpectedly good happens. Or maybe the grief simply fades with time. Your mind hides the grief in one of its secret places. And you decide never to look in that place. You cope up with yourself. You feel good. You continue to live...

You laugh, you cry. You get angry. You get depressed. You get excited. That, i think is life...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

may be i understand your feelings, may be i dont.

may be its plain emotions, may be its plain frustration.

may be u know what u mean, may be u want to know.

may be just may be this is not your life, it is someones elses, may be it is yours own.

may be........

Turtlelife said...

You know that is life..
so, why don't you be happier?
well.. i think you are already happy. because you have food, house, clothes, and friends around you right?

I guess if you do something for people around you, you will be happier, too.

Jayant Kumar said...

I always keep on doing something for people around me, but still there are moments when the mind goes on for a journey of its own...